Staff Writer
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. To honor Maine victims, a ‘Light the Night’ ceremony was held Oct. 1 on the lawn of the president’s house at the University of Maine at Presque Isle.
Staff photo/Kathy McCarty
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, a crime too often undetected until it’s too late, was the focus of the “Light the Night” ceremony held at UMPI Oct. 1, marking the beginning of Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Victims come from all walks of life, young and old, rich and poor, and include men, women and children. Here, ‘Susan,’ a local victim of domestic abuse, places a stake bearing the name of one of the less fortunate victims – one of the nearly two dozen Maine deaths attributed to domestic violence so far this year – against a tree on the campus lawn.
Domestic violence knows no age, race, gender or income level. It affects young and old; men, women and children – though crime reports indicate women and children are more often the victims in such cases. The event held earlier this month in Presque Isle was designed to help raise awareness and, hopefully, lead to the prevention of these incidents. The occasion was marked by a victim’s story, the presentation of a Mic Mac prayer, followed by the lighting of the tall spruce tree on the campus lawn.
“Purple ribbon-shaped stakes bearing the names of Maine victims were placed against the base of the large evergreen as the poem ‘Remember My Name’ was recited, along with the names of each Maine victim of domestic violence this year,” said Mary Rohn, spokesperson for the Battered Women’s Project. “These were all cases that have occurred just this year.”
Lisa Leduc, professor of criminal justice courses at UMPI and chair of the Board of Directors for the BWP, shared statistics on domestic violence with those in attendance.
“In the average case, a woman leaves (a relationship) nine times before making a permanent move,” said Leduc.
In her classes, Leduc said students learn that a majority of police calls are related to domestic violence. She credited events such as the one at UMPI for raising public awareness.
“Events like these help emphasize just how many people are affected – how many actually lose their lives through domestic violence,” Leduc said.
“Victims often don’t realize it’s not just a physical abuse issue. It’s a control issue. The worst cases end in tragedy when a person loses that control and resorts to violence,” said Leduc.
Leduc said domestic violence happens, no matter the season and regardless of the weather.
“It happens rain or shine,” said Leduc.
“We gathered to honor victims and survivors – men, women and children,” Leduc said.
Rohn explained that the symbol of the purple ribbon began “nearly two decades ago in scattered communities.”
“It’s gained widespread recognition since,” said Rohn, explaining that the purple color represented the color of battered and bruised flesh victims sustain at the hands of others. “This is a time to remember those who suffer daily behind closed doors.”
Rohn said domestic violence can affect anyone from any background.
“There’s no stereotype. Those beaten could be anyone. Abuse often goes undetected because victims learn to hide the signs – the bruises, both internal/emotional ones and physical bruises,” she said.
“I be everyone in the community to take a stand in the community for these people. Let it be known you will no longer stand for domestic violence,” said Rohn.
One victim was brave enough to share her story with those present. ‘Susan’ (name changed to protect her identity) explained how she met and began dating a man she thought was “Mr. Perfect,” only to find out a short while later he was anything but perfect and had serious control issues.
“He seemed absolutely perfect the first few weeks. But then he started showing signs of abuse. I thought I could be his reason for changing,” said Susan.
During her relationship, Susan said she lost touch with her friends and became isolated – just what the man wanted, to have her all to himself. A college student, she managed to complete her degree while hiding her personal experiences from others.
“I was at a point in my life where life was finally making sense. But after the first few months as a couple, the rage and constant phone calls began. He claimed he couldn’t have a life without me in it. That’s when I turned my friends against me,” said Susan. “He made me question who I was as a person.”
It was at that point she realized she was being stalked and that the man was ruining her life. She tried to distance herself from the man, but he would call frequently or appear on her doorstep at all hours, uninvited. With the help of a new friend, she sought help through the BWP and the local police department.
“I was worried what he’d do if he knew I was seeking outside help,” she said, adding the man had a concealed weapons permit. “Friends helped me – took me to the police department to write a report.”
Susan recognized she was a victim of abuse.
“My life was in shambles over this. I was becoming a victim of abuse,” said Susan. “It made me fight stronger.”
Susan said appearing at the ceremony was part of her healing process.
“It’s an opportunity for me to reach out to others. I don’t know where I’d be without these women (BWP and her friends) in my life,” said Susan.
The stakes have since been moved to the lawn surrounding the flagpole in front of the Public Safety Building on North St. in Presque Isle.
“There were 22 stakes and we were even missing some I believe,” said Leduc. “This year has been especially tragic for the state of Maine, and the year’s not even over yet.”
For more information about the BWP and services offered, contact the administrative office in Presque Isle at 764-2977, the Caribou office at 498-6146, the Houlton office at 532-4004 or 800-439-2323. To reach the 24-hour hotline, call 769-8251. To report a crime, contact your local police department, the Aroostook County Sheriff’s Office at 800-432-7842 or Maine State Police at 800-924-2261.
Staff photo/Kathy McCarty
LISA LEDUC, chair of the board of directors for the Battered Women’s Project, spoke at the “Light the Night” ceremony held in front of the president’s house at UMPI Oct. 1 as part of Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Leduc holds one of the purple-ribboned stakes bearing the name of one of the nearly two dozen Maine victims of domestic violence so far this year. To Leduc’s right is Mary Rohn, spokesperson for the BWP.
