Cup O’ Joe: Going batty

Note to self. If you see a shadow dart across the ceiling, chances are it’s not a ghost.
That was the scenario that played out last Monday evening, as I was sitting in the living room watching a movie. Since I was on vacation, from my duties gathering the news for “The only newspaper in the world interested in Houlton, Maine,” I had no reason to turn in early.
    My wife had long since gone to bed and the children were enjoying a sleepover at the grandparents so it was a perfect time to kick back on the couch to watch something I wanted to see, as opposed to a family-friendly showcase.
Midway into the movie, I thought I saw something swoop by my head. Not sure if it was fatigue from staying up too late or just weird lighting from the special effects laden movie, I ignored it and continued on with the show.
About 15 minutes later it happened again and I began to have a Star Wars moment where I had “a bad feeling about this.”
Perhaps I watch too many episodes of “Ghost Hunters” and “Ghost Adventures,” because my first thought was I was seeing a shadow figure of some dearly departed individual creeping around the house late at night at a time when I am normally sound asleep.
After quickly dismissing that thought, I snapped on the lights to both the living and dining rooms and my fears were confirmed. Clinging to the trim near the ceiling was a lovely little bat.
My first thought was to grab for a tennis racket and whack it. My good friend Dan would have gone the more direct route. Whenever we get together to play video games, he is always the one to blitzkrieg, while I am more of the tactician. He tells me I think too much when playing, while I tell him he needs to do more planning. Either way, the end result is the same as we both wind up shooting each other in a fantasyland.
While the notion of me leaping around the room in a desperate attempt to hit a moving target was tempting, I decided a more tactical approach was in order. Instead, I hurried to the basement, grabbed the pool net and a large piece of cardboard to cover the opening. It was a remarkably simple, yet effective approach to capturing the flying beast. I placed the net over it, it simply “jumped” into the net and stopped moving, almost as if it were giving itself up. After carefully slipping the cardboard up the wall to fully trap the bat, I quickly took the creature outside and set it free. I have to admit, afterward I was a bit proud of how efficiently I captured and removed the beast so effortlessly. I even woke my wife to brag of my actions, but the feeling was not reciprocated.
“You caught a what?” was her sleepy response.
“A bat,” I replied.
“Was there just one?” she asked barely awake.
Admittedly, the thought that there might be more than one never occurred to me. I then spent the next hour or so roaming through the house, cautiously peeking around every corner of every ceiling, hoping that I would not find another.
I did not, but that routine played itself the next two nights as I was convinced that more must be lurking, waiting for the right moment to swoop down and bite me. (I watch too many vampire shows too). So far, none have shown up, but if they do, I will be ready for them.
Joseph Cyr is a staff writer for the Houlton Pioneer Times. He can be reached at pioneertimes@ nepublish.com or 532-2281.