Deborah Lipsky pens book to help the autistic and first responders

Deborah Lipsky and her husband Jon moved to a small farm in Linneus to get away from the busy, hectic life in Rhode Island in the 1980s.
For Deborah it was more than just getting away. For the next 18 years she was a semi-recluse living a quiet life with her animals including, goats, chickens, pigs, sheep and horses. She liked to be alone. She functioned better when she was alone. Lipsky suffered from being different all her life and experienced a traumatic childhood. She found solace in befriending animals. But why was she like she was?
In 2005 and in her 40s she was diagnosed as being autistic and then all the puzzle pieces began fitting together.
Living with a disability Lipsky had persevered. Even before she was diagnosed, she overcame many roadblocks to receive a master’s degree in education. However, in order to be successful with any degree she needed the social skills to interact with her counterparts. Lipsky’s working career was sporadic; because of her coping skills and her jobs were short lived. Those jobs included being a firefighter, an emergency medical technician and reserve police officer, among others, but she struggled with the art of communication and getting along with her peers.
Now that she knew what her disability was, what could she do to be a productive individual? She decided to pattern herself after an autistic woman that she was familiar with, Temple Grandin. She took the Bard training and then sold herself to a national speaking company to do workshops nationwide. She was an instant success. However, she didn’t handle transition well. As long as a schedule stayed on track everything was fine, but if there was a delayed flight or a change in plan, Lipsky lost it. Her inability to handle sudden changes began to jeopardize her speaking career.
Fortunately, she was a member of the Autism Society of Maine and it was through this organization that the paths of Lipsky and Will Richards crossed. Richards, a clinical psychologist in private practice in Maine worked exclusively with autistic individuals and those supporting them.
Once they teamed up they scheduled one of their first workshops in Brewer. Their original plan was to meet and practice social skills training, but through a miscommunication between the two, clarification became the focus of their first Maine workshop and later for their book, “Managing Meltdowns.”
Lipsky had reserved a motel room in Brewer, but after arriving there the night before she drove back to Bangor to pick up a few things. She was not accustomed to the lights and sounds of the night, so she parked her car and started to walk. She walked near the Penobscot River where the sound of running water calmed her. However, Lipsky was not dressed for the November weather and soon felt herself nearing a panic situation. She became disoriented and was walking up and down the riverbank becoming more and more anxious.
Richards, at 9 p.m., decided to call and check on Lipsky, only to find out she had no idea how to get back to her car. At about the same time, she came across a No Trespassing sign and her phone was going dead. She was going into a meltdown. At that time she thought that swimming across the river would be the best choice. After two horrifying hours and with the help of Bangor police she was found.
Lipsky was very remorseful and very afraid that she had ruined her relationship with Richards. Instead it was a starting point for their collaboration for their recently published book. Through this experience Lipsky was able to explain in detail the trauma she experienced during the ordeal.
It was from this incident that the book “Managing Meltdowns” using the S.C.A.R.E.D. calming technique was born and the intervention strategies are now available for first responders. It is important for the first responders to know how to approach an autistic individual.
The letters are an acronym to focus on the affective state and the appropriate responses to it. S-safe, provide an environment that is safe; C-calm, remain calm, use concrete or literal language that is descriptive and not evaluative; A-affirmation, provide validation of affect and acknowledge that the individual is doing the best he/she can to resolve the situation; R-routine, the individual’s comfort zone is far more likely to be in his/her repetition of routines; E-empathy, understand from the autistic individual’s perspective; D-develop an intervention strategy.
Richards became Lipsky’s mentor, her partner and best friend. They have been a team traveling across the United States for seminars until this spring when Richards was no longer able to accompany her due to illness. Lipsky had cancelled many workshops, but will now resume her schedule, which is even more demanding now that the book has been published. She will travel to New York in May to appear on some of the national morning shows. It will be a challenge for Lipsky as she travels without her partner, but it is important for her to get the message out to people associated with autism.
“Managing Meltdowns” was just published in March and sold out in two days at many major bookstores. It can be ordered from most local bookstores within a two-week delivery time, though. It is also available at the Cary Library. It is a great resource for police officers, ambulance personnel, teachers, babysitters, relatives and counselors. It is a quick-read and just $15. For more information, visit www.lipskyrichardsautism.com.