Throughout our lifetime, we experience a gamut of emotions. Perhaps the one that lingers the longest and causes the most sleepless nights is regret.
There are all sorts of regrets that stay with us: some in the deepest, darkest corners of our minds, and some that remain foremost and are capable of a lifetime of guilt and remorse.
Some regrets are benign and make their exit rapidly. We regret not buying the raspberry lemonade when it was “in season” and a mere $1 per container. We may regret our decision not to attend our 30th class reunion. We sorely regret leaving early in the morning to make that 9 a.m. meeting that is 160 miles away and, just as we swing onto Interstate 95, a good old northern Maine blizzard greets us with swirling torrents of snow and there is not a single snowplow in sight.
A great number of regrets are short-lived, forgettable, and often quite humorous. We share some regrets with each other; often proud of the content and appreciative of the laughter that follows.
As we know, the majority of regrets that haunt us are still alive within us as we say our final goodbye. Regret can be that ghost in the closet who somehow manages to sneak out and keep us awake throughout the night. Thoughts such as: “Why didn’t I apologize to her before she died?” “Why did I not speak to my father for nearly a decade, all because of some silly argument?”
Regret is something we can avoid, if only we would stop and think of the damage and possible heartbreak we may cause with a cross word or a thoughtless refusal and the like. This is a lesson I have learned well, my friends. For example, I wish I would have refused the invitation to argue over nothing of importance years ago with a co-worker. I should have apologized.
Regret. I believe each of us could tell our own story about regret and the impact it has had on us. I remember telling a friend that regret is an enemy we need not summon. She laughed at me and explained that she has nothing to regret. Whatever she was guilty of doing or saying to another individual was her business and hers alone and if regret was the consequence, then so be it.
I had no response for her because she was right, but I did walk away with something; regret that I had most definitely hit a nerve. Will that regret keep me from sleeping or leap out at me from my closet? I truly don’t think so but I will absolutely let you know.
Much love.
Belinda Wilcox Hersey lives in Caribou with her husband, Kent. You may email her at belindahersy@gmail.com.
