What you model matters to kids
By Allison Heidorn
Asset No. 14: Adult Role Models — Youth are more likely to grow up healthy when Parent(s) and other adults model positive, responsible, behavior.
Did you ever get the feeling you were being watched, that your every move was being scrutinized and studied? Probably not, as most of us go through our days on fast forward not thinking much about the immense responsibility we carry in every word, action, and choice we make. Every day in every way, youth’s eyes are upon you. They watch as you peacefully resolve a disagreement with a friend, how you show empathy to someone in need, how you chose to spend your time engaged in productive and meaningful activities, and how you keep a level head at times of crisis.
Young people are searching for everyday heroes, people who model behavior that is not just appropriate but makes others feel respected, loved and needed. Young people see you, especially if you’re a parent, as the kind of person they want to become. Take a moment to think about your choices, are they the kind of choices you want for your own child?
Inevitably those behaviors will come back to visit in the words and actions of the youth whose lives you have the honor of being a part of. It is time to get back to basics and remember the values that unite us regardless of race, religion or socioeconomic background. Having adults in our communities who model honesty, integrity, respect for others, hard work ethic, empathy, service to others and compassion for human kind is the first step in making change.
According to Search Institute surveys, only 27 percent of young people between the ages of 11-18 say their parents or other adults model positive, responsible behavior. There is a disconnect between what many well intentioned adults are modeling and what youth perceive. For far too many youth there may simply be a lack of adult presence in their lives. It is difficult to discuss adult role models when there simply is no or very little adult presence.
As for the remainder of youth, their eyes have been watching us even when we thought they weren’t. It is our responsibility to show young people that although we do make mistakes we work hard to be the best we can be. When you could have been kinder, chosen better words, or simply made a better choice, talk with the young person in your life about ways you could have made better decisions. Being a role model is not about being perfect, it is about being real and open when you make a mistake.
Everyone needs role models for they help us to dream, plan, set goals and look at our personal future in a more positive light. Role models give us the courage to reach beyond our personal limits. If every youth in your life had three or more positive adult role models, change would happen. It makes us heroes at a time when so many people need someone to believe in.
It is the kind of change which occurs one word, one smile, one hug, and one choice at a time that can transform lives both young and old. Youth are watching, will you be a part of the change?
Allison Heidorn is an assistant director with Aroostook Substance Abuse Prevention.
