Bullying survivor shares message
Staff photo/Scott Mitchell Johnson
NEW YORK TIMES bestselling author and bullying survivor Jodee Blanco recently shared her story with Presque Isle middle and high school students. Following her PIMS presentation, Blanco posed with the school’s civil rights team.
Pictured are, from left, front row: Destiny Saucier, Grant Bridges, John Saucier and Will Bridges. Back row: Meg Boone, Gabriella Donovan, Emma O’Connell, Emily Lagerstrom, Alana Sweetser, Blanco, Hunter Flynn, Elise Guerrette, Marielle Shaw, Brittany Warner and Jack Morningstar.
By Scott Mitchell Johnson
PRESQUE ISLE — Jodee Blanco knows all too well what it’s like to be teased and tormented. From fifth grade through high school, she was the student that “no one wanted to be caught dead with.” Fortunately, she survived the traumatic ordeal and went on to become a New York Times bestselling author and bullying expert.
Blanco recently shared her story with Presque Isle middle and high school students.
“My school years were nightmares,” Blanco told PIMS students. “You may think teasing someone is a joke, but it’s not. You’re damaging each other for life. I know because I’m damaged.”
Blanco shared how her tormentors vandalized her locker, yearbook and favorite pair of shoes, shoved snowballs down her shirt and throat, left mean-spirited notes, and shot spitballs dunked in glue at her.
“Every week I had to cut sections of my hair out,” she said. “It was awful. I didn’t fit anywhere.
“I begged God to give me cancer. I figured if God gave me cancer, my parents wouldn’t be mad at me for staying home from school,” said Blanco. “No one stops to think about how this affects the victim.”
After additional first-hand examples, Blanco reminded students “something doesn’t have to be on purpose for it to be mean.”
“It doesn’t matter why you laugh at someone,” she said. “When you’re laughed at, it steals a piece of your soul, and you’ll never get it back.
“Bullying isn’t just the mean things you do to each other; it’s all the nice things you never do,” said Blanco, encouraging the students to sit with the “lonely kids” in the cafeteria or invite them to a sleepover or a movie. “I totally get why you’re uncomfortable having someone else that’s not one of your friends spend time with you, but did you ever think how they got that way? They weren’t born uncool. The very qualities that make you not want to hang out with us are the qualities you planted in us over time. After a while we believe you; we think there’s something wrong with us.”
Blanco reminded students who felt bullied that “there is nothing wrong with you.”
“Don’t change for anyone,” she said.
With brutal honesty, Blanco warned the students that their hearts would be broken several times during their lives.
“You’ll want to give up, but don’t. People who never get their hearts broken don’t live life to the fullest. People who never risk their hearts never achieve anything,” she said. “Love with everything you’ve got. Trust in yourself. If there’s something you want, go for it.
“Your spirit is a flame that needs to flicker your whole life. Never let anyone extinguish it,” said Blanco. “Every day some of you are blowing on someone’s flame, and I can tell you from experience that it is a bear to light that candle again. Don’t let it get blown out.”
Blanco also armed the students with some useful advice.
“If you see someone being bullied, tell an adult. There’s a big difference between tattling and telling. Telling is about being a hero,” she said. “Be a rescuer; befriend the victim. The hard part of being bullied isn’t the behavior, it’s being alone.
“If you’re struggling to fit in, turn to an adult you trust and get some support,” said Blanco. “Find a brand new social outlet other than school. Make new friends; it will make you more confident.”
For PIMS students Elise Guerrette and Jack Morningstar, both members of the school’s Civil Rights Team, Blanco’s presentation struck a chord.
“It was really inspiring to hear her story and how she dealt with bullying. It kind of gives me ideas if I ever get bullied what I can do to stop it or help others,” said Guerrette. “Things like including others in the things we do is important.”
“I thought it was great; it was one of the best presentations I’ve ever been to,” Morningstar said. “I realized that bullying isn’t always direct; it’s also when you don’t do something. She gave us ideas of ways to handle bullying situations better.”
Morningstar said he, too, has been bullied before.
“I haven’t really had much trouble here at school, but at camps, I’ve heard people say horrible things to belittle other people, including me,” he said. “They’ve said things like I shouldn’t have been born. They said it just as a joke, but like Jodee said, those kind of jokes aren’t funny.”
Blanco said she was pleased with her Presque Isle visit.
“I think it went very well. The way to tell is the attention of the audience, and they were attentive, as well as the questions at the end. The questions are always the dead giveaway, and these kids asked really meaningful and insightful questions,” she said. “They opened up, which means they trust me, so I’m completely happy with how things went. This has been a terrific experience.
“The biggest way to measure the success of my program is to find a hiding place in the cafeteria at lunch and watch. Inevitably you’ll see somebody from the popular table get up and walk over to a table where some kid is sitting alone and say, ‘Do you want to sit with us today?’ It happens at almost every school,” Blanco said. “That’s my empirical data.”
School officials say they have noticed more student interaction at lunch.
For more information about Blanco, log onto www.jodeeblanco.com.
