When 36 Loring Job Corps Center (LJCC) student volunteers went to the Presque Isle Hampton Inn on Feb. 27 to participate in the Reducing Sexism and Violence Program (RSVP), few realized what a life-changing event some of them would experience. The intensive 4-day training, which entailed two days at the hotel and two follow-up days on-center, was made possible through a $10,000 grant awarded to seven schools around the state of Maine. Local assistance was provided by the Maine Coalition Against Sexual Assault, a division of the Aroostook Mental Health Center.
The grant application was written by Kellie Miller, Mental Health consultant at LJCC.
Miller believes this four-day “retreat” could be a first step in an ongoing endeavor to permanently change LJCC students’ views and attitudes on harassment and assault.
“I hope that the students here who are leaders amongst their peers will take the information they’ve been given and disperse it throughout the student body,” she said.
RSVP is a branch of “Maine Boys to Men,” a non profit organization based out of southern Maine that was founded in 2000 with the goal of educating boys in the critical stage of development during which they begin the transition into manhood.
According to the Boys to Men website, RSVP “focuses on empowering and training the students as ‘bystanders’ to effectively respond to, as well as prevent bullying, interpersonal violence, and harassment. The curriculum consists of a series of real-life school and social scenarios ranging from dating violence to sexual harassment. [It] is supported by supplemental exercises, many of which utilize media images from popular culture to prompt critical thinking, open discussion, and challenge traditional construction of gender roles.”
The training was conducted by two facilitators, Saiyid Brent and Stephanie Buffard, who travel around New England to provide their services.
Though the first 48 hours of the program was filled with heavy subject matter, the students enjoyed their time participating in the multifaceted experience: LJC student Jonas Johnson of Lakewood, N.J. enjoyed his time spent in the hotel, while Emily Pocius from Manchester, Conn. expressed familiarity with being stereotyped, and makes a conscious effort not to do it to anyone else.
In the future, Pocius hopes to use the knowledge she gained from RSVP to make a difference in the minds of her fellow students.
“It takes just dropping one pebble into a lake to spread out and become waves,” she said.
Exercises included large roundtable discussions, periodically broken up by sessions in which participants divided themselves according to gender they identified with. Once divided, the groups classified characteristics of common stereotypes, such as what defines “a man” and whether or not sexual orientation is something people choose for themselves.
The majority of students in attendance agreed that the experience was overall a positive one and several students have made suggestions for keeping the benefits of the program going.
Al Lions of Wrentham, Mass. advised that “We would like to see this program broaden beyond men’s violence against women to the prevention of violence between all different people.” Ashley Davis of Waterbury, Conn. shared that sentiment, and plans to use the skills she learned to help her achieve her goal of running a non-profit organization for women.
Other students found the group session emotionally challenging, but therapeutic.
“This had me grow as a person, to be a bystander…now I realize that appearance doesn’t matter; that’s your freedom to be who you are … someone has the right to do that, and they shouldn’t be assaulted or harassed for it,” commented Brittany Fontes of Boston. Fontes recounted a breakthrough moment during which fellow students discussed their past experience with abuse and assault which brought back repressed memories of her own. “Being able to cry about it and let all my feelings out was the most memorable part of this for me.”
Hugh Boyd of Brooklyn, N.Y. assumed a leadership role during the group session and explained that the program caused him to rethink a somewhat stereotypical belief of his own.
“I used to think violence toward women was out of, like, extreme love, but now I realize it’s about control and power,” he said.
Joshua Morales of Springfield, Mass. was shocked and appalled at the portrayal of women in the media and its influence on the way men treat women.
Both facilitators expressed satisfaction with the outcome of the event. On the program’s last day, Buffard complimented the students, telling them “you guys are a completely different group than you were on Monday.”
After the session concluded, Brent observed that “this is definitely the most diverse group we’ve worked with as far as life experience, age, race, nationality and all that. It gave it a different element that made things a little more challenging at times, but at the same time, it was super rewarding. Day four was just — awesome,” he added.
Boys to Men provides ongoing support to schools after the workshop through means of follow-up days and posters to encourage awareness and tolerance. Several of the attendees hope to do their part by holding periodic meetings to discuss ways they can spread awareness. They may not have come to agree on everything, but a consensus began to form: everyone has a perspective, and one person’s isn’t necessarily more valuable than anyone else’s.
More information about Boys to Men and RSVP can be found at www.maineboystomen.org.
