To the editor:
Domestic violence awareness includes being aware of the violence perpetrated against adults later in life. According to the Office of the Maine Attorney General, there are an estimated 14,000 incidents of elder abuse annually in Maine and at least 84 percent of domestic violence cases go unreported. The courage of elders who seek justice is enormous. We must act with corresponding resolve to help them achieve the safety and restoration they deserve.
When we speak of hope, of justice, of the slow chipping away of the prejudices that allow family violence to flourish, we often speak of young men and women in dating relationships, we think of people just married, starting a family. We think of couples with young children that are involved in abusive, violent situations that result in degradation, injury and sometimes death.
Domestic violence does occur to people later in life and the aggressor uses power and control to inflict physical, sexual, emotional or financial injury or harm upon an older adult with whom they have an ongoing relationship; often the abuser is someone they trust and love. The aggressors include spouses, partners, adult children, extended family, and in some cases professional caregivers. The problem occurs in all communities, and affects people of all ethnic, cultural, racial, economic and religious backgrounds. Although most victims are female, men are also vulnerable to abuse, particularly when compromised by the aging process.
This abuse and injustice happens is perpetrated in an alarming number of relationships, including Aroostook County. Older individuals, like victims of domestic violence of any age, want the abuse to end yet often want to maintain a relationship with the abuser. Especially where the abuser is an adult child or grandchild, the victims may be more interested in getting the abuser help than punishment. They often feel guilty about pursuing legal remedies, but that makes them no less deserving of justice.
Elder victims of domestic violence are commonly referred to as the invisible population. They are among the most socially isolated, physically vulnerable and psychologically conditioned to compliance of all victims of domestic violence. Most elder victims hold tenaciously to the belief that family problems are a private matter. They fear that exposure of the abuse will result in unbearable consequences; they will be forced into nursing homes or a loved one will be arrested and jailed. They are the least likely of all domestic violence victims to seek out or accept services. The trauma of abuse and shame limits the elder’s capacity to initiate change. Most elder victims simply want the abuse to end, their families to remain intact and to feel safe at home for their remaining years.
Victims of elder abuse face unique challenges:
• Social isolation and mental impairment, such as dementia or Alzheimer’s disease, may make them more vulnerable to abuse.
• Victims may be totally or partially dependent on the abuser for daily care needs, including meals, mobility, and access to funds and medication. And in some cases the abuser is dependant on the victim for shelter, money and food.
• Living with someone who has a mental health issue or an addiction to drugs or alcohol may increase the chances for abuse to occur.
• Elder abuse victims may experience shame, fear, embarrassment, anxiety, confusion, withdrawal, and depression.
To think of people as elderly, with all of the negative connotations that our society affixes to this word sometimes makes it easier for abusers to manipulate and justify their behavior to the public. “She’s clumsy” or “He’s too difficult to care for” are often heard as justifications for abusive or neglectful behavior. If you think a person, as an adult, later in life, instead of an old person; it makes it clearer as to the abuser’s motives.
At the Hope and Justice Project, we see many people from all aspects of life and the only thing they have in common is that they have endured an abusive relationship. We have advocates available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week to talk with anyone, including later in life adults, at 1-800-439-2323. We are here to give support and to help victims that would like to find a way to a peaceful life. We will help connect people with Adult Protective Services, but if you suspect that an elder, dependent, or incapacitated adult is being abused, neglected, or exploited, contact APS at 1-800-624-8404.
Pat Smith and Mary Rohn
Hope and Justice Project
