By Barbara Scott
Staff Writer
“With cyber bullying, the victim can’t get away and the effects are devastating,” said Caribou Police Officer Kevin St. Peter. “Parents/guardians need to be alert as to what their child (regardless of age) is doing on their computers, laptops, with their cell phone, gaming devices, or Ipod Touch. Be in control of their time and monitor who they are sharing things with on Facebook, Myspace, You Tube or instant messaging.”
Officer St. Peter, along with Rachel Meyer, communications and marketing specialist with the Better Business Bureau; and Kathy Mazzuchelli, superintendent of the Caribou Parks and Recreation Department presented a seminar “Keeping Kids Safe Online” at the Caribou Wellness Center on Sept. 29. This seminar was sponsored by the Caribou Business and Professional Women’s organization and the recreation department.
The attendance was slight for this very important seminar but the message was anything but light. With the available technology in today’s world, the chance of youth (and adults) becoming victims of online predators either by bullying, visual aggression, harassment, stalking or abduction is not something to be ignored.
Officer St. Peter, using a PowerPoint presentation titled NetSmartz and drawing from his own experience as a police officer dealing with youth and online issues, provided an extremely educational and eye-opening look into the world of cyberspace and the tragic effects misuse of this technology far too often result in.
“The most important thing a parent can do is communicate with their child,” said St. Peter. “ Be aware of any noticeable changes in their behavior including if they stop spending time on their computers; change screens abruptly; avoid discussion of what they were reading or laughing at online; if they don’t want to go to school or if they appear to be avoiding friends and family members. Also learn about blocking certain sites on home devices — educate yourself on internet safety then educate your children,” he said.
St. Peter stated that in cases of cyber bullying, kids don’t always think about the consequences of their actions, they may be angry or upset with a friend or acquaintance and use the on-line version of revenge. “What they don’t realize is, in the case of sending/posting inappropriate or humiliating statements or photos of another, is that the second they hit send, that message or photo is no longer in their control — you can’t take it back.” They may have sent the message/photo to one other person but there is nothing to prevent the receiver of sending it to another, etc.,” he added.
Anyone being bullied online should never respond to those actions against them. In many instances internet or wireless providers have numbers at which to report these actions. It is also important to inform local police of the problem.
St. Peter also stressed the importance of capturing and saving copies of all possible digital information (including server information) involving online messages, photos, text messages or other forms of harassment. “An investigation can start from this type of information and evolve from there — just report the issue to us, don’t hesitate,” stressed St. Peter.
“Young people need to be aware of the results of poor judgment and that they are responsible for their own actions. Don’t let others decide where your text ends up,” he said.
Officer St. Peter encourages parents to help children understand about inappropriate comments used online and in text messages, most importantly that “just because they have these devices, it is not a license to post anything they want.”
St. Peter also informed those in attendance that one in six teens have received a ‘sextext.’ Sexting involves sending a sexual message, picture or video via a cell phone. “This can result in being a criminal offense (manufacturing child pornography) not only for the sender but the individual who took the photo and those who receive it,” he said.
“It is most important that if a youth is victimized online that they are able to talk to someone about the issue,” said St. Peter. “Monitor their online activities and make sure they are aware of boundaries — in this technology-driven world children need to be taught, not frightened, to use these devices responsibly. Don’t be a bystander, know the names on a child’s contact list, who they are friends with on Facebook and Myspace.”
It is also recommended that computers be kept in a common room in the home.
Meyer presented facts on both the positive and negative effects of online activities and recommended that parents share an account with younger children regarding e-mail or to have your child’s messages routed to your account first. “Set a code of conduct, including language, and sites they are allowed to go to,” stated Meyer. “Don’t just say ‘don’t go there’ explain why.”
Meyer also suggests parents develop their own Facebook page and “be friends” with their children, this is a good way to monitor other “friends” regarding the application.
“Establish trust and understanding with your children,” stated Meyer, “be aware of controls and settings that can be established and use them — set limits.”
“In the old days, the manual for raising kids would have said, ‘put the diaper in a pail and rinse; wash the bottles’ — there is no time to read a manual,” said Mazzuchelli. “There is a direct correlation between the amount of stupidity with the number of people in a group, the larger the group, the chances of good kids doing something stupid are magnified. The best you can hope for is that kids will make good decisions and the second best is that if they make a bad decision, hope they tell you,” she added.
Mazzuchelli stated that kids are looking for a way to become interactive and parents need to develop a line of trust. “Talk with other parents about the issues of children/teens and computer devices and be in control of these items, check them frequently, as a parent you pay the bill for the computers/cell phones, etc. — pay attention.”
Educators, local organizations or parents who would like to learn more about keeping kids safe online, or would be interested in scheduling a presentation on this very serious topic may contact the Caribou Police Department.
