Weekend fundraiser
to benefit people with HIV/AIDS
By Kathy McCarty
Staff Writer
An Aroostook County resident is hoping the Red Ribbon Gala at the Northeastland Hotel, planned for Saturday, May 21, will help raise much-needed funds to help others like himself in the region obtain needed medical treatment, transportation and daily necessities as they face the challenges of living with the human immunodeficiency virus (HIV) that can lead to acquired immune deficiency (AIDS).
Don Smith (name has been changed for privacy) said he moved from Maine in 1980 to Florida in an effort to better understand himself and his role in life.
“I was trying to find out if I might be gay. I knew if I could get away from Maine and my family, I could straighten out my life,” he said.
Not long after, he met someone and a relationship developed.
“We fell in love right away and I moved in with him. We lived together for five years, when suddenly he became sick and went into the hospital,” he said.
Doctors ran many tests to find out what was going on, in the meantime Don’s partner, Anthony, sank into a coma.
“This was in 1986 and HIV was just beginning to make the news. So the doctors ran a test and found out that’s what he had. At that point his family decided they couldn’t go to the hospital because they were scared of AIDS. No one then was sure how it was spread at that point, so I went to work during the day and spent my nights in the hospital by his bed, waiting for him to wake up from his coma,” Don said.
It was during this time that doctors suggested testing to see if he too was infected.
“I went to the health department and got tested, as they were just starting to test people. Back then it took two weeks to get test results. The day I got my test results telling me I was positive, my partner passed away. I had to deal with being positive, planning a funeral and the fact that my partner had been unfaithful in our relationship. The doctors gave me six to eight months to live and put me right on AZT, the only drug at the time (to treat HIV),” he said, noting his first reaction was to commit suicide. “I had just watched my partner die a horrible death.”
Thanks to a caring family, Don chose to live whatever life he had left to its fullest.
“I called my family to tell them that Anthony had died at the age of 26 and I was given about eight months to live. Anthony’s parents had thrown me out of the house, taken our vehicle and left my clothes lying on the lawn. My dad flew down and helped me get a car, which I loaded and came back to Maine with,” said Don.
Although his family stood by his side, returning to Maine proved to be a disadvantage when it came time for Don to seek medical care.
“As I looked for help, we found out that the best medical treatment would be in Florida. So I gathered my life back together and headed back to Florida to stay with a couple friends I had,” he said.
Don said it was hard to leave family, but he couldn’t stay in Maine “being gay and being HIV positive.”
“Knowing I had my family’s love and support, I decided to fight for my life. I found a doctor who was on the leading edge of helping people with new drugs and he took me into his experimental drug program,” said Don. “I tried more drugs, many with some really bad side effects, but with these drugs I continued to hang in there, until some new drugs came out and they helped me stabilize my HIV.”
Over time, Don said he continued to improve.
“That’s when I decided that a higher power was giving me my life and I needed to help others that weren’t so lucky. I started helping organize benefits for friends that were positive — many that I lost to the disease,” said Don.
It was at this time that he started a new relationship.
“I met a new partner who was a negative influence. We were together 15 years, but in this relationship I found out he was an alcoholic and very abusive. I tried to get away from him many times in Florida but we always ended up back together, as I felt I had no one else who would want me. We eventually moved to Maine to be closer to my family – in case I got sick, there would be someone to take care of me,” he said, adding his family realized the abusive situation he was in and got him to seek help through the Battered Women’s Project (now known as Hope and Justice).
“They were able to help me escape the abuse and get my life back,” said Don.
While he’s happy to be back in Maine, closer to his family, Don knows the difficulties facing those with HIV/AIDS — men, women and children of all ages and races, gay or straight, who have to deal with the expenses related to the disease.
“Being positive in Aroostook County is a challenge medically, emotionally and financially. The doctors that we need are in Bangor or beyond for some patients. We do have a doctor in Presque Isle now, but in the beginning, everyone had to go to at least Bangor,” he said.
Work is another problem facing those diagnosed with the disease.
“To try to work here when you’re sick is a challenge, because when you’re sick you sure can’t say ‘I’m HIV positive and the drugs are making me too sick to come into work today.’ So most people are so sick they have to go on disability and have very limited funds to travel to Bangor to doctors or even buy the food they need to stay healthy,” said Don.
Having the safety net of a loving family has been extremely important in Don’s case. It’s that sense of caring that led him to look for ways to help others facing similar circumstances.
“I’ve been lucky enough to have a family who helped support me both emotionally and with help with bills. I decided to help others find the help they need to survive and try to live. There are at least 30 people living in the County that we know of that need help and more who don’t even know that they are positive,” said Don.
Don said that’s why the May 21 fundraiser is so important.
“The agency that helps people living with HIV is Community Health and Counseling Services. With funding being cut, we have decided we have to do something to help clients survive. So we have come together to try to raise money for clients to be used for food, gas cards to get to doctor visits and for helping with emergencies, like heating oil so people can stay warm,” said Don.
The gala will feature an auction, dinner and entertainment by DJ Jonny B, with all proceeds to benefit clients in Aroostook County living with HIV and AIDS. Tickets are $25.
“We really need the support of the community and organizations in the area,” said Don.
To learn more about HIV and AIDS in Aroostook County or to purchase tickets, contact CHCS at 532-5510.
