Mother shares personal experience
with underage drinking
By Kathy McCarty
PRESQUE ISLE — A local mother knows all too well the dangers of underage drinking, having nearly lost her daughter following an incident that occurred around Oct. 18.
Staff photo/Kathy McCarty
ADOPTION AWARENESS — Presque Isle City Council proclaimed November as Adoption Awareness Month. For City Councilor, Don Gardner and Forum Director, Jim Kaiser and Kaiser’s daughter, Christina Kaiser who was taking the minutes at Monday night’s Council meeting, adoption is a topic they’re quite familiar with. Their family grew by one, about two years ago, through the process of adoption. Pictured at Council for the occasion from left are: Gardner, his son Ryan Gardner who is the adoptive father, granddaughter Olivia and Tonya Gardner, Olivia’s adoptive mother.
“My daughter, who was 13, had asked to spend the night at a friend’s at an apartment on Academy Street. My husband and I had just spoken to the girls a few nights before about making choices and how they should call a parent if they were ever put in position where drinking or drugs were involved,” said Peggy Vincent, of Presque Isle.
Vincent said she never imagined something like this would happen to her daughter.
“She was only 13. A parent doesn’t think something like this will happen until the child is much older,” she said. “My daughter’s not a leader, she’s a follower.”
What began as a normal day for Vincent soon turned into a nightmare.
“I received a text message from my daughter’s friend asking me to come over right away. I went with my uncle to the friend’s apartment. When I arrived, the parents were in the kitchen putting away groceries,” said Vincent. “I asked them where my daughter was and they advised me she was on the bathroom floor.”
Vincent rushed to the bathroom where she found her daughter on the floor, unresponsive. During the course of events, she contacted the Presque Isle Police Department to advise them of the situation and that an ambulance was needed.
“My daughter stopped breathing three or four times for my uncle and me. I tried to get her to respond — tell me what she took and who gave it to her,” she said. “The friend’s parents kept telling me she had the flu, to take her home and she’d be fine. I knew she wasn’t fine. That’s why I called the police.”
Vincent credits her daughter’s friend for helping save the child’s life.
“It’s sad a 13-year-old had more common sense than the adults present. If she hadn’t texted me, who knows if my child would still be alive,” said Vincent.
What followed was a day of anguish, anger and relief.
“I rode with my daughter in the ambulance all the way to a Bangor hospital. I was told her blood alcohol level was four or five times the legal limit of an adult. She had used marijuana and had alcohol poisoning — was taken to the ICU. She was lucky; doctors don’t think there was any permanent damage,” she said.
While in the hospital, Vincent said she asked her daughter if she knew when her birthday was (it was just a few days away). Her daughter responded correctly — a good sign indicating her memory had not been impaired.
“I questioned her about her birthday the following Sunday — she just turned 14. I told her how lucky she was to make it to another birthday. She almost didn’t make it. I almost lost my child because of people she thought were her friends. What kind of friends are they — she nearly died,” said Vincent.
She said she wanted to share her story in hopes that other parents might learn from her experience.
“Parents need to be aware. I know in many cases families need both parents working but you need to know what kids are doing and where they are. I’ve given up work hours or time with friends and family just so I could check on my daughter. Parents need to make their children a priority,” Vincent said.
Vincent said as a parent she realizes you can’t be everywhere your child is and that children need to learn on their own, but a child’s safety should be a parent’s top priority.
“We can’t be everywhere all the time. That’s where family and friends come into play. When I or my husband can’t be there, my daughter’s father or my uncle are there. When she says she’s going to be a certain place, that’s where I expect her to be. If I find out otherwise, she learns there are consequences,” she said.
She blames peer pressure for her daughter’s recent misfortune.
“She’s not a leader. She just wants to fit in and that’s where peer pressure comes into play,” said Vincent. “As a parent, you need to step up. Cut back and focus on your children. Pay attention to what they’re doing and who they’re with. My daughter’s not allowed to go anywhere without me, her stepfather, her father or my uncle, except to school.”
Vincent said the incident not only affected her daughter but her son as well.
“My daughter’s OK and back home now. She and her brother returned to school Monday. Her older brother was out of school for a few days, to prevent problems. We didn’t want him getting into trouble for defending his sister or confronting the ‘friends’ who were with her when this all took place,” she said.
Being a parent isn’t always easy — something Vincent knows firsthand. She acknowledged it’s not a popularity contest and that it’s better to have a child unhappy but safe, rather than giving in and putting them at risk in the process.
“I tell my daughter ‘You may think I’m a witch, but someday you’ll thank me.’ I don’t want to be her best friend. I’m her mother; I love her and want what’s best for her. If that means setting limitations, then that’s what I’m prepared to do,” said Vincent.
For more information on substance abuse and youth or ways to keep children safe, visit Aroostook Substance Abuse Prevention’s website at www.asapcoalition.com. To report substance abuse, including underage drinking, contact your local police department.
