To the editor:
My name is Michele Fitzpatrick. Some of you may know me as Michele DeWitt. Other’s know me as Logan’s mom. That’s my favorite “title.” My son, Logan Steven DeWitt, died March 19, 2003. He was just 5 years old. As like anyone who has lost someone, I went through the phases of grief; denial, anger, hopelessness, and guilt. Even after six years, I am still working on acceptance. Some days are better than others.
In 2005, I ran into my friend, Mary. She and another mom were trying to start a chapter of Compassionate Friends here in Houlton. She asked if I was interested in being a co-founder. She explained Compassionate Friends is a support group for parents and siblings who have lost a child/brother/sister. I immediately said “yes.” Honestly, at that time, my heart wasn’t in it. I went home thinking, “Oh no. If I do this, will it be like reliving Logan’s death all over again? Can I handle it after two years of trying to block the pain? The sadness?” I still wasn’t sure after I signed the papers. I didn’t go to a meeting for a year.
Then on the second Wednesday of November 2006, I looked at the calendar. It said “CF mtg 6:30” in block letters, just like it’s been saying for the past year. I found myself at the hospital parking lot. I took the stairs to the education wing and walked into a room that held other parents going through what I was. My first thought was “I know those faces. They are in my community. I had no idea they’ve lost children.” My second thought was “I’m not alone!”
I have lived in Houlton for nine years. I love this town, these people. I understand and respect how private people are. I am writing this to tell you, as I’ve discovered, you are not alone. I know you and say ‘hello’ in the grocery store. I have sent cards to most of you after the death of your child. And yet, I sit here all by myself, every second Wednesday of the month. I know you’re busy. I know you keep yourself even busier to block the loss you feel. I just want you to know I have made a commitment to Logan, to myself and to you. I will continue to sit here every second Wednesday at 6:30 p.m. just in case you find yourself in the HRH parking lot.
I am not here to pry into your life or to judge you. I am here to listen, to talk or just sit quietly with my own thoughts and memories. Compassionate Friends is a wonderful organization. I urge you to find out for yourself! The Web site is www.compassionatefriends.org.
Michele Fitzpatrick
Littleton
